speculating subjective vistas

If consciousness is an individualization of the subjective all and each of us holders of our own special key to the doorway of all..it seems plausible that if one of us might per chance prop open that doorway..others might be enabled to partake in a realization of this timeless zone, where dreams and so called realities mix freely, where true change originates, where alternate highways and byways merge into this ever changing experience called life which seeks to forever  tempt us away from the harsh cold feeling of no way out..what is it that we know..overwhelmed by labels and defintions converging and diverging philosophies, schisms without end, bipolaralities ad infinitum, so many writers going so many ways at once..who to listen, to follow, reject, love, hate? and what of truth..is it by degrees, is it fuzzy, or concrete or planar or up for grabs, dependent on the beholder, relative to the situation..whos right whos wrong..can we escape our so called fate..how would we look at the scenario if we studied everything from PK Dick's exegesis to "thinking and destiny" to science of mind to ohapse  to urantia book to the new thought theory to the bible to the upanishads and the gita to the koran to zen buddhism, to the theosophists to the spiritualists to reiser and the humanists and ayn rand to marx and lenin to freud to derrida and foucault  and hundreds of others who claimed to be professing a truer newer reality..freud at death stated that if he had it to do over he would persue parapsychology, aleister crowley stated he would do away with all ritual, the brilliant austin spare turned from humanity he had tried so hard to awaken and decried us all to be a pack of cards, reich died of a broken heart in prison..from the start we are told what to believe, who to follow, who to admire..programmed like robots we pursue and we pursue and we persue..finally convincing ourselves of a patchwork truth that perhaps works for us if no one else..it seems most of us give up any pursuit of reality discernment early in the game..content to live life as it presents itself from day to day..but I'am reasonable enough to realize that each in his or her heart really feels a specialness, a uniqueness, like one could perhaps makes a difference if one really wanted to ..but like colin wilson's outsider..something always seems to hold us back..but then again nothing is written in stone to the person who has discovered knowing..just plain knowing..beyond the incessant urge to convince others of our reason for being..content to pursue our path of ever growing awareness of our isness that simply is..maybe that might hold a clue for those of us seeking mergence into the all consciousness..where we all are and we all know and we all grow together or alone forever through the manifest worlds of time and space and beyond..limited ultimately by our own God bestowed[if you believe in that term] and/or self resurrected IMAGINATIONS which may very well serve as that proverbial door between us and the all..until we are together once more, love gabriel